Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA)

Growing up is difficult and confusing, even in the healthiest of environments.  The challenges we face are forever changing.  From learning how to walk and talk, to learning right from wrong and how to eat well and stay clean not to mention the amazingly terrifying experience of attending school.  We are forever being pulled in a million different directions while trying to figure out who we are and who we want to be. For many of the first years of our lives we rely on our parents for survival, they are the very root of our existence and the environment they provide is literally all we know.  Growing up is difficult and confusing in event the healthiest environments it’s even harder and more terrifying in a dysfunctional environment.

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The Dreams you don’t enjoy

Have you ever had a dream that was so vivid it felt real?  Maybe you dreamt that you went on a shopping spree only to wake up disappointed that you didn’t have a closet full of all the new clothes you bought in your dream.  Or maybe you had a situation that made you absolutely miserable, it’s in the past but you keep dreaming that your back in that situation and wake up feeling relieved when you realize it was just a dream but almost exhausted from the stress of the dream.

Then there are the dreams that are more like nightmares.  If you’ve had a tragic or traumatizing event that you’ve experienced and have vivid dreams reliving the event, you know exactly what I’m talking about.  If you’re in recovery from addiction chances are that you too know exactly what I am talking about.
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Down Time? or a Re-boot of the Soul?

Today we had parent teacher conferences for two of our three children.  My kindergartner had the opportunity to grade herself.  I love the honesty in children.  She’s doing Great in everything except working quietly! 🙂  My seventh grader seems to have the same issue.  Hey, if that’s the worst of it, I can’t complain!

Life gets so busy!  Sometimes it can be easy to over look the most important things when their are so many distractions in today’s world.  My number one rule in life is that my children do not compete with anyone or anything for my attention.  So when my children felt the need to “ground me” from the computer I, most certainly, had to stop and re-evaluate my priorities!  Hence the brief break from blogging.

In my journey of sobriety I’ve learned a lot of things.  One thing I still struggle with is consistency.   I feel like I go through periods of “down time” where I don’t get a whole lot done, other than thinking.  This used to bother me greatly, but I’ve learned that these times are not necessarily a bad thing.  Over time I’ve learned to stop fighting it and instead embrace the time and experience it in its entirety.  I’ve noticed that since then my “down times’ happen less and less and each time I always feel so much better after.  I no longer look at it as “down time” but as a kinda “soul re-boot”.   My mind, body and soul needs time to soak in all the knowledge I’ve been consuming.  Now that I know this I can stop beating myself up for taking the time and start nurturing the time, because it is necessary.  I can stop looking at it as a sign of being incapable of being consistent and start recognizing the signs of when its needed in effort to plan for the time spent re-booting my soul.

I compare it to when I need to restart my computer after an update.  My soul is growing at a rapid speed, I need to re-boot so I can apply the new knowledge I’ve consumed.

So just know from time to time, I may be quiet, but I’m still here!

As Always,
Keep Striving For Progress!
Tracy Dubej

 

Think Great

You may not be able to control everything that occurs in your life, but you always have a choice in how you handle every situation
You can succumb to your circumstances or you can embrace the opportunity that is always hidden within every challenge.
The door to a greater life opens up during difficult times, if you are looking for it.
Today Let the “tough times” make you stronger. Let them empower you to have a greater life. So you can share your story with someone else who needs it
-Think Great
      (Author Unknown)
As Always, 
Keep Striving For Progress!
Tracy Dubej